Why did John refer to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved?
"Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved."
John 13:23
If you read the Gospel of John, you'll read on 5 occasions John referring to himself as "the one whom Jesus loved."
If you're like me, you're probably thinking, "John, what is your deal? He loves everyone, doesn't He?"
Well, God took me on a personal journey that brought some clarification to this question.
When I renewed my faith in God, He took me to a place of solitude. I wasn't working, I lost the relationship I was in, I wasn't hearing from friends or family, my mom ended up in ICU and eventually passed, and I was going to church, but no one was really talking to me.
No one knew what was happening in my life.
In hindsight, people tell me at that time that they tried talking to me or they just didn't know how to approach me because I looked so serious or stoic.
But I wasn't! See, God had put me in a cave for a reason.
At that time, I asked God, "What's the deal here? It's like I'm unseen and unheard."
And He clearly let me know this wasn't about friends or family -- this was about Him and me. God reminded me that He saw me and that He spoke to me.
Did you get that? This was personal!
In John 13:23, we see that John leaned on the chest of Jesus. Talk about personal and intimate!
So here I was, in a place where all I could do was lean on God! Of all the people in the world, and I mean billions of people in this world, He took the time to sit with ME and make it personal, to allow me to lean into Him.
God cared about ME so much, that He excluded ME to a place to be alone with just Him. God took ME on a journey to clean me up. To dig deep into my past to uproot the roots of bitterness, anger, rejection.
Jesus was so gentle and gracious, and He revealed issues in me that I didn't even know were there.
He took his time to recreate me, one on one.
ME! The girl who ran so far, for so long, from her calling.
The girl who constantly rejected him.
The sinner.
The unworthy.
Jesus loved me enough to never give up.
So like John I can brag, "I am Janice, the one who Jesus loved...."
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Author
Sara-Marie Puopolo
Author, Founder of the Soul of Worship Ministry
Sara-Marie Puopolo is a worship leader, Bible study instructor, and founder of the Soul of Worship Ministry. She carries a mission to empower a generation to release an authentic sound of worship that moves mountains and brings Heaven down. Alongside her loving husband Mark, Sara-Marie faithfully serves her local church in Eastern Pennsylvania where they are raising their two young children, Isabelle and Matthew. Please Note: Some blog posts are written by our growing team of ministry leaders! We are blessed to have them share their testimonies with us.
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